In HorrorLand's eerie gift shop, Andy finds a hound's-tooth necklace. The big tooth is yellow, has two sharp points, and, according to the shopkeeper, is said to grant wishes.
But Jonathan Chiller knows something else about the tooth. It's said to be haunted by the ghost of a huge hound. A ghost that's got a mouthful of sharp teeth—but wants this one back.
Plot
Wow, this is upsetting. The Very
PART 1-Murder Most Foul
We open in Horrorland with or first protagonist, Andy Meadows, and his cousin, Marnie Meyers, watching a show of some sort, starring the creatively named Murder the Clown. Murder the Clown (nope, don't feel stupid writing that) invites Andy and Marnie onto the stage, saying that they'll be food for the zombie clowns. Zombieland is very different to the way I remember it. Andy and Marnie end up being surrounded by zombies (well, it's more entertaining than your usual theme park show), but luckily, Murder the Clown saves them. He assures the 2 that it was all part of the show, but, in a surprising turn of events, Andy and Marnie are quite sceptical. And then Murder the Clown just leaves and isn't mentioned again for the next 6 books. I can see why this guy was brought back for the Goosebumps movie.
Andy and Marnie stumble into the gift shop, Chiller House, and meet the shopkeeper, Johnathon Chiller. In the past, I've enjoyed villains from this series because they're usually funny and charismatic, such as Dr Maniac or Inspector Cranium. However, Johnathon Chiller is legitimately creepy and intriguing. He's got a calm demeanour, and enough mystery surrounding him to keep us intimidated. That is, of course, until book 19, but we'll get to that when we get to it. Andy is intrigued by a fang, because those are typically interesting, and Johnathon Chiller tells him the legend behind the tooth to explain why it's too powerful. Long ago, somewhere or other, there was an evil dog called the Blue Kerlew Hound. It always caused trouble for the villagers, until a sorcerer (eh, why not. We've got supervillains in this universe, so I guess sorcerers aren't too far fetched) cast a spell on the hound, making it lose a tooth and run away. Coward. Somehow, the tooth became magic, and could grant wishes, so the sorcerer used it to become rich and famous, because what else would he wish for? However, the hound returned, and tracked down and killed the sorcerer. There is no explanation as to how it wound up in a gift shop. (Seriously, though, it is quite a good little tale) Andy purchases the tooth, though Chiller warns him to keep it dry. He also says that Andy can pay for the tooth the next time they meet (Andy decides to never go back to Chiller House), and hands him a small statuette of a Horror, saying, "Take a little Horror home with you." Y'know, Jonathon, all this giving out free stuff is not going to earn you a decent profit.
PART 2-The Lesser Spotted Hound
Now, we jump into the meat of the story. Back home, Andy and Marnie come up with the idea of using the tooth for wishing. Eh, why not; they probably don't have anything better to do. So, Andy wishes what anyone in the world would wish for: for his parents to take him out to dinner. Marnie, having the same creative flair as Andy, wishes that she can come too. Suddenly, Andy's dad announces that they're going out for tea, and that Marnie's coming with them. (*scoffs*) Probably a coincidence. Andy then wishes that his dad will get a new Escalade (I think it's a type of car), and what do you know, an Escalade appears in the driveway. What's he gonna wish for next, a different coloured bedroom? That night, Andy hears howling outside, though he doesn't chuck anything and shout at it like a normal person would.
The following Saturday, Andy goes to the mall, possibly to shut up Past-Robin from How I Met Your Mother. There, Andy bumps into Marnie, who wants more wishes, presumably so that she can, I don't know, get her neighbour's wi-fi password. Andy wishes Marnie would stop talking, and she loses her voice. Marnie grabs the tooth and reverses the wish. Somehow, she manages to stab Andy with the tooth, getting a small bit of blood on the tooth. Marnie tries to make another wish, so that she can get a different coloured pair of trainers or something, but instead a white light shoots out of the tooth and knocks out Andy. Weird, thinks Marnie. It works!
A bit later, Andy wakes up to see Marnie and 2 strangers, who claim to be his parents. (*frantically calls the police*) There's also a young girl who claims to be his sister. Marnie makes the point that, since the tooth was wet, something bad must've happened, like Jonathon Chiller warned. So that's why Mamma Mia is getting a sequel!
Andy's 2 new parents start becoming incredibly annoying, so Andy wishes (not with the tooth) that he could be a million miles away, a message to the main, oh. Suddenly, he is teleported to a random space capsule. I'd complain, but I wouldn't be surprised if Elon Musk put it there. Andy's impressed by the view, and sends a picture to the flat earth society. He accidentally wishes that Marnie could see the view, so she appears. How are they breathing? Andy tries to grab the tooth, but it floats off because they're, y'know, in space. And yet they're feeling no effects of the intense cold and radiation. In a struggle to grab the tooth, Andy and Marnie bump into a control panel, causing the capsule to begin to crash towards Earth. Given how much we've seen of the Blue Kerlew Hound, they might as well re title this book to "When the Ghost Dog's Tooth Gets a Bit Wet."
Andy wishes he was back home, and gets warped to his house. Which is surrounded by large iron bars. Oh dear; BritainFirst have taken over during his absence. Everyone passing by is gawking at him, and their voices are all warped and distorted. (*insert joke about Wales here*) Then it turns out that they're not gawking at him; rather, they're gawking at the gorilla in the house with him. So that's who's been pinching the sugar! The gorilla pinches Andy's necklace, but Andy finds a random beach ball, which he has in his house, and chucks it at the gorilla, making it drop the tooth into a puddle, which he has in his house. Andy, knowing full well what the tooth can do when it's wet, wishes that he was back home safely whilst the tooth is wet. He is immediately shocked and knocked out again. There is no mention of what happened to the gorilla.
Andy wakes up in a random house, where some random old couple have been looking after him. Uhhhhhhhh... Marnie's also there, and the old couple leave after Andy wakes up. Well, that's rude. Andy asks the actually rather good question of how the hell Marnie got out of the space capsule (ⒸElon Musk), but Marnie says that she and Andy never left the mall. And that's never explained. Andy notices that Marnie's wearing the tooth, but she says that she's always had it. That sounds like stealing, and, if that's the case, then,
The next day, the local congressman is coming into school to judge an essay contest, as congressmen do. Shock of all shocks, Marnie wins. Andy comes to the incredibly obvious conclusion that Marnie cheated and used the tooth. Woah, there, Sherlock! Next, you're gonna start insulting people and shooting them in the face, that's how Sherlock-ish you are!
Back home, Andy notices a bruise on his neck and realises that Marnie lied in order to get the tooth. He starts planning for revenge, as the howling outside his window continues. Bloody stray dogs.
The following Saturday, Andy invites Marnie round to build an arcade cabinet-wait, what? 21st century kids playing on an arcade cabinet? Next thing you know, they'll be taking off their coats! Suddenly, they hear the Hound's unsuccessful attempts at karaoke, and the latter is actually there for once. Well, now you're here, Mr Kerlew, I can tell you that I'm docking your pay for never turning up. Andy tells Marnie that, to stop the Blue Kerlew Hound, she needs to give it the tooth back. Alright, but I'm taking off more pay if he wants to keep it. Marnie admits to stealing the tooth (which is like me confessing to typing this with a keyboard), and Andy reveals that it's not the Hound at all (right, that's more pay docked); it's his neighbour's dog, painted blue. That can't be healthy. Except, wait: it is the Hound. Mr Kerlew, you're fired. Andy wishes for invisibility, but the Hound, is, well, a dog, so it can easily sniff out the invisible Andy and Marnie (sounds like if Netflix made a 1960s comic book). Andy, thinking quickly (rare, in these days), chucks the tooth outside for the Hound to collect. The Hound is gone when he looks, and then there's some random pointless scene about the neighbour's dog.
Later that night, Andy hears an X-Factor hopeful rehearsing in his alley, and gets a call from Marnie, who claims that she picked up the tooth, despite the fact that she knows full well what can happen to whomever has the tooth. She agrees to share the tooth with Andy, so I hope they've started on their respective wills. And, as if things can't get any worse, Andy's miniature Horror statuette starts glowing, and the next thing he knows, he's been teleported to Chiller House, where Jonathon Chiller is waiting, in all his sinister glory. He says it's time for Andy to pay him back for the tooth. Or, rather, it will be, once the others have arrived. Well, you know what they say: there's no such thing as a free wish granting tooth from a killer hound. (And, yes, you can bet I'm going to keep repeating that in future reviews.)
Extra Toppings
This was the 100th main series Goosebumps book. Of all the books; not Dr Maniac vs Robby Schwartz, not Scream of the Haunted Mask, not Streets of Panic Park: this school-bathroom bland stain on the rather dirty carpet of interest.
Conclusion
When the Ghost Dog Howls is, quite frankly, extremely dull. It's not on the same level of painful boredom as Monster Blood for Breakfast (hey, I need some excuse to keep talking about it), and there's nothing really bad in it, aside from the gorilla scene and the fact that the Blue Kerlew Hound doesn't show up until the climax. It's not really anything special, but it's really not the best way to start off the new arc.
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