Trina's dad used to be a ventriloquist. That's why he's got an attic full of dummies. Dummies with weird, staring eyes. Dummies with nasty, frozen grins. Trina and her brother Dan think they're pretty cool.
But then the new dummy arrives. And suddenly there are voices in the attic. Dummies moving around mysteriously. Strange accidents.
Of course there must be a logical explanation. Someone having a joke. Because it's stupid to be scared of a dummy - isn't it?
Plot
Because this was only the third book in the series and therefore Slappy hadn't fully been established as the main antagonist, I will humour this book. Don't let me down, Stine.
We open with our protagonist, Trina O'Dell, and her brother Dan exploring their Dad's attic full of ventriloquist dummies. Normally this is an indicator that someone is a serial killer, but Dad just really likes ventriloquism as a former ventriloquist himself. That's right, this book has already gone above and beyond by finding a logical reason why somebody would own a ventriloquist dummy. Or rather, 13. Notable figures include Wilbur, who looks a lot like Dad. I bet you're thinking that he is Trina's father turned into a dummy. That is not the twist, so kudos. There's also Miss Lucy, the only girl dummy (because I guess Dad's ventriloquism was a shonen series of some kind), whom Dan tries to jumpscare Trina with, and Rocky, whom Dad successfully jumpscares Trina with. I guess he was just chilling in the attic this whole time to jump out and scare them. Maybe he really is a serial killer.
Dad shows Trina and Dan his new acquisition - Smiley, who he'd found in a rubbish bin with his head split in 2 and scraped away paint on his knuckles, as if he'd been in a fight. (Continuity? In my Goosebumps? It's more likely than you'd think.) Dad nips downstairs to answer the phone (ah, 1996), when Dan finds a piece of paper in Smiley's pocket with the magic words on. Trina decides to read them aloud because plot, and Smiley first looks up at Trina, and then smacks her. Delightful.
Dad returns, and explains that Uncle Cal and Cousin Zane are coming to stay for a week. Trina and Dan aren't very fond of Zane, because apparently he's a nerdy wimp. I didn't come here to be mocked like this. Dad makes them promise not to pick on Zane whilst he's staying with them. Oh my, I wonder where this can be going?Seriously, it took them 8 books before they could change the formula outside of adding an extra dummy or two. And even then we only got Son of Slappy.
Zane arrives, and explains that he's into photography now. Oh god, here we go again. Zane decides to do a quick photoshoot with the dummies (already more interesting than anything in any of the photography books), when another dummy, Arnie, slaps him too. Already Smiley is being a bad influence on his new roommates. Nobody gets blamed, though, because in fairness Zane was the only one close to Arnie when he got hit. Then, as they're getting out of the attic, Rocky falls onto Zane, despite being halfway across the attic from the hatch. Geez, Zane's so lame that even the ventriloquist dummies are bullying him.
That night, Trina and Zane awake, hearing voices. They go downstairs to find Rocky, sat on the kitchen table. What is it with ventriloquist dummies and sitting on kitchen tables? What do they think chairs are for, eating toast off of? Because it's typically the sibling pulling the pranks in Goosebumps, they go up to Dan's room, although in a surprising display of competence they do question how he knew they would head to the kitchen. However, Dan's asleep. As they're about to leave, Dad teleports into the room and wakes Dan up by jumpscaring Trina and Zane with Rocky. Despite everyone's iron clad alibis, Dad tells Trina and Dan they're on their final warning. He's still more lenient than most American peelers, I'll give him that. If they don't stop tormenting Zane... they won't be able to go to summer camp! Closest I ever got to that was a scout camp in the Summer, and it was one of the worst weeks of my life. Anyway, I'm sure that'll be the end of all this 'tormenting Zane' stuff.
The next day, Zane drags Trina into the dark room (ah, 1996) which Dad has because he runs a camera shop. Again, this is scarily reasonable. Is Dad from another universe? Oh God, does this mean the Reality Police are going to show up again? However, when Zane's new pictures develop, they all depict Rocky. Trina does the logical thing of going to the attic and interrogating the dummies. Because there is nobody to do a good cop, bad cop routine with, this fails dramatically. The dummies do answer, but only to make fun of Trina. Maybe these dummies are just a gaggle of bullies. First Don't Go To Sleep, now primary school. What horrors will this book remind me of next? Dan emerges, but claims he had nothing to do with such an event. Dan has a better suspicion - Zane's doing this to frame Trina and Dan. Honestly, I'd scoff at this possibility if they hadn't done this already. Word to the wise - if you're writing a book, make sure the first half has some relevance outside of establishing characters, and not just making it a big prank. I know, spoilers, but this is the fourth time they've done this, and this is the fifth book in this series I've covered. Long story short, Trina and Dan decide to hide in the attic to catch Zane in the act, and they do so. The gang agree to not try anything else, and I'm sure that's the end of all that conflict!
The next day, after a pleasant scene of the gang riding their bikes, Zane finds that his room has been trashed, with Rocky sat on a pile of clothes. Despite the fact that the gang have been riding their bikes all morning, Dad still suspects Trina and Dan. Dad is later annoyed at Trina and Dan when somebody sneaks into the room and places Rocky on top of her. Dad's one-track mind continues, as Zane's camera is smashed when everyone is at dinner, yet he still glares at Trina and Dan when investigating. Another loud crash from Zane's room leads everyone to discover that the dining room has been trashed - with Wilbur and Smiley (oh yeah, he's in this story) sat at the table, as if toasting each other. That's actual a pretty good image. It's par for the course, but nice.
That night, Trina and Dan decide to stake out the attic, believing Zane to be behind everything once more, in spite of his iron-clad alibis for the incidents at dinner. However, when they spy someone carrying Rocky out of the attic - Smiley. Or, as he prefers to be called... Slappy. That's actually a really great twist (or at least it would be if they hadn't made 5 individual books, 2 movies, and an entire 13 [so far] book series about him). Slappy makes kissing noises at Trina at one point, because the whole "enslaving 12 year old girls" thing wasn't disturbing enough, and then cops to the entire thing, having placed Rocky at the scene of the crimes to throw them off the scent. He could've framed someone who wasn't a ventriloquist dummy, but you don't get milked to death in Goosebumps by being clever. So, they take him outside and throw him in a convenient well in their back garden, and everything is lovely once again. Just kidding, we've still got 5 chapters left.
The next morning, Trina and Dan find Slappy, soaking wet, and sat on the breakfast table. Again. Chairs exist, Slappy. Use them. Dad blames Trina and Dan again, but not as harshly this time, because he's trying to lay low so as to not get conscripted into the Reality Police.
Everyone except Trina and Dan go out for whatever reason, so Trina concocts the exact same plan every other protagonist in these books uses - read the magic words again, and maybe Slappy will go back to sleep. Granted, it worked in Slappy New Year, but not the other times it's been attempted. Anyway, when Trina tries to take the paper out of Slappy's pocket, he grabs her arm. Dan quickly swipes the piece of paper out of Slappy's pocket, distracting him enough for Trina to break free. Dan reads the letter, and, shock of all shocks, Slappy remains conscious. However, as Slappy gloats about how terrible their plan was (preaching to the choir there) and how they'll pay for this, the other dummies all stand up. In an admittedly chilling climax, the dummies converge on Slappy, doing... something to him. Slappy screams once, and then falls silent. And everything is actually lovely once again. Wonderful. And then Zane pins the whole thing on Trina and Dan, so they give him Slappy as a parting gift. Ah, so it was also going to remind me of Monster Blood For Breakfast.
Any Questions?
How exactly did the magic words affect the other dummies? Why did it only work the second time? Do you actually care? Could this have been expanded on more? (Yes, it totally could have).
Conclusion
Since it's mostly a repeat of the other Slappy books, one must look at the little things in order to see why one should bother reading this. For the time, the fakeout with Rocky was decent, there were legitimate reasons for someone buying a ventriloquist's dummy, and they didn't have that scene where Slappy insults everyone. The buildup in the latter half was suspensefully done, and there was some decent creepy imagery. Overall, probably the best Slappy book, but not by much.
Next Time: Dark forces are summoned with only one purpose - to be used as blackmail material so their master may have his favourite pudding...
Dad wants to lay low? What happens if he lays high? The eggs are visible and get poached, perhaps?
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