Goosebumps #28: Ghost Beach

Blurb 

Jerry can't wait to explore the dark, scary old cave he's found down by the beach. Especially when he hears about the ghost. And starts finding the strange little skeletons. 

Everybody tells Jerry it could be dangerous to go into the cave. But he can't help wondering. Is there really a ghost in there? Or is it just a stupid story?

Jerry knows there's only one way to find out. And nobody's going to stop him exploring that cave. But maybe he's making a really big mistake - because it's seriously spooky in there...

Plot

Not often do we find a threat who doesn't go out of its way to look/act stupid.

We open with our protagonist, Jerry Sadler, roaming a graveyard with his improbably named sister, Terri. Suddenly, they get attacked by zombie hands, except they don't, because it's a dream sequence. Off to a good start. Jerry and Terri are actually in a different graveyard in New England, where Terri is taking a worrying interest in the dead people who reside there. According to Jerry's exposition, the gang are staying with their ancient fourth cousins once removed, Brad and Agatha. I shall not question this, because I know nothing about how cousins work. They head to the beach, which I'm sure will be totally normal and not in any way supernatural, when they're attacked by a bat. Except not, because it's actually a kite. The owners introduce themselves as Sam, Louisa, and Nat, who are also Sadlers. Right, that makes seven so far. Terri asks if they ever check out a cave near the beach which I've neglected to mention, leading to Louisa ominously talking about ghosts and then leaving. There, I've saved you 2 chapters.

After a few scenes of Jerry and Terri doing nothing with Brad and Agatha, we cut to the next day, when Jerry and Terri come across the skeleton of a dog. If the quirky Twitter users can stop weeping for a moment, Sam, Louisa, and Nat teleport to the beach, explaining that the dog was killed by yet another Sadler - Harrison, who sets himself apart from the others (or does he?) by being a ghost. His motivation for such an act? As master detectives, Team Ominous instantly know that it was because dogs can recognise ghosts because shut up. If this is true, then they are already infinitely more competent than the team assigned to fix a hole in reality that threatened the stability of the multiverse from last week. 

The next day, Team Jerry encounter Team Ominous again, and pester them for more information on Harrison. Turns out that their main evidence for this is that occasionally, you can see a light flickering in the cave. I take back what I said, they'd do pretty well in the Reality Police. Later, at dinner, Brad and Agatha submit their entry forms for the organisation, as they explain that the flickering light was, in fact, the Aurora Borealis. Is Aurora Borealis really a thing at this time of year, at whatever time of day Team Ominous saw them, in this part of New England, or even located entirely within some cave? Even Jerry isn't fooled. I never thought I'd see the day wherein the protagonist and their sibling were the smartest people in the book?

That night, Team Jerry succumb to curiosity and decide to investigate the cave. There are no Aurora Borealis, unfortunately, but their are bats. And not just kites, actual bats. As Team Jerry decide to leave, they bump into Harrison Sadler himself, and he is by far the best character in the book, written creepily and subtly. Wait, he is a Goosebumps character, right? They flee, and I'm sure that's the last we'll see of him!

The next day, Team Jerry go back to the graveyard, because I guess Terri is HP Lovecraft or something. Good thing she doesn't have any pets. However, as Terri is doing some gravestone rubbing (as 11 year olds do), she comes across the graves of Team Ominous, revealing that they all died in 1600. Suddenly, Team Ominous teleport to the graveyard, and explain that those are just their ancestors and that they're totally alive. Brad and Agatha say the same thing, and I'm sure that's the last we'll see of that plot point! It's funny because it's the same gag. Hence why my review of My Hariest Adventure was such a success. 

That night, Team Jerry succumb to curiosity and decide to investigate the cave. Wait a minute. Anyway, they encounter Harrison once more, who claims that Team Ominous are the ghosts, not him. Harrison is merely yet another Sadler who moved here from Old England, and studies the occult, because that's a legitimate occupation. Well, at least moreso than being a full-time landlord. Harrison seems to have gotten on the ghosts' bad sides, because he lives in this cave to protect himself from them. Somehow, this cave is magical or something, so the ghosts can't get in. And we were doing so well. Team Jerry aren't convinced, so Harrison tells them to go back to the graveyard again to see... something. This is reminding me of my Monster Blood For Breakfast review. 

So, Team Jerry arrive at the graveyard, where they discover... empty graves, bearing their names. And they look fresh. OK, that's pretty creepy. Suddenly, Team Ominous teleport into the graveyard just as Team Jerry turn to leave, but Jerry is still convinced that Harrison is the ghost. He proves this by putting his hand on Nat's forehead, which feels warm. Q.E.D. Team Ominous are disappointed that Team Jerry failed to kill the "ghost." See if you can spot what's wrong with that sentence. Come to think of it, why don't Team Ominous just kill him? 

Team Ominous and Terri drag Jerry back to the cave for the final showdown with Harrison. An argument ensues about who the ghost is - well, I say "argument," it's more of a "No U" contest with some excellent tension and atmosphere. Harrison eventually gets tired of the contest and produces a dog from thin air, who begins barking at Team Ominous. Turns out their ridiculous notions about dogs recognising ghosts wasn't so ridiculous after all. Now that the jig is up, Team Ominous casually remove their flesh and wangst about the fact that they never got a proper chance to live. Oh boo hoo, I've got no life either but I'm not trying to kill anyone or removing my flesh. Suddenly, everything goes dark and atmospheric, and the next thing anyone knows, Harrison and Team Ominous are gone and the rocks over the cave have collapsed in front of its entrance. And everything is lovely once again. Wonderful. And then it turns out that Brad and Agatha are ghosts too, meaning that more than half of the cast of this book are dead.

Extra Toppings

Aside from being dead and that nonsense about the Aurora Borealis at such a time of day etc. etc., Brad and Agatha do basically nothing. They never came up because all they did in the book was have dinner and do the gardening. If it wasn't for that, the book would be about 33% shorter. But thank God we had them for the twist that sounds like it was written atmospherically if it was about somebody else.

Conclusion

Whilst by no means a perfect story, Ghost Beach is probably the closest one of these books has come to being intentionally scary. (Some scenes in Revenge R Us have become a lot more disturbing in recent years, but it probably wasn't supposed to be) There's a sense of mystery and tension, and the initial presentation of the cave gives the story that urban legend feel that I'm a sucker for. Harrison is probably my favourite serious Goosebumps character so far, and whilst the story is dogged by padding and a superfluous amount of characters (as evidenced by the fact that I got away with referring to more than half the cast plurally), it's overall one of the better books in the series.

Next Time: After nearly 2 years, he's finally back......