Brooke's best friend, Zeke, has just been given the lead role in the school play. Zeke's totally into it. He loves dressing up in the grotesque phantom costume. And scaring other members of the cast. Brooke thinks Zeke's getting a little too into it. But then really scary things start happening. A message appears on a piece of scenery: "The Phantom Strikes!" A stage light comes crashing down. Is someone trying to ruin the play? Or is their really a phantom living under the stage.
Plot
Well, seeing as this is about a play, and it's also the 100th review on this blog... ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the Werewolf's New Polytechnic Drama Society's celebratory production of 'Phantom of the Auditorium'!
THE CAST OF THIS NEW YEAR'S PRODUCTION OF 'THE PHANTOM OF THE AUDITORIUM'
Brooke/Esmeralda shall be played by Carly Beth Caldwell, the heroine of The Haunted Mask, and all around amazing protagonist.
Zeke shall be played by Billy Deep, from Deep Trouble. Billy is known for his tendency to dive (sometimes literally) into very clear danger.
Tina shall be portrayed by Rick and Tony Beymer, from Monster Blood. No, I don't care if that makes no sense.
Emile shall be played by Slappy the Dummy/the Slappmeister/Captain Slap/Dr von Slap.
Brian shall be played by Jackson Standler, from Son of Slappy. He's the worst; worse than Matt Daniels.
Ms Walker shall be played by Madame Doom, better known as Bootleg Zoltar, from Help! We have Strange Powers! and Weirdo Halloween.
Mr Matthews/Zeke's Dad shall be played by Matt Daniels, from Monster Blood for Breakfast.
Directed by Charlie Valentine (me).
Script by R.L Stine
Music by PowerWolf
We open with Carly Beth and Billy tossing exposition back and forth for a chapter, which for once is completely irrelevant. Then Carly Beth discovers that she's expelled. Except not really, because Billy is the traditional prankster who nobody finds funny. Afterwards, they discover the casting of the school play, creatively called 'The Phantom.' If you're wondering what it's about, it's basically just the Asylum's version of The Phantom of the Opera. Because plot, Carly Beth and Billy discover that they have received the 2 lead roles of Esmeralda and the Phantom respectively. Meanwhile, Carly Beth's arch-enemies, the Beymer twins, have both been cast as Carly Beth's understudies. I didn't plan on this happening, but I'm glad it did.
So, later on, Bootleg Zoltar explains the story behind the play. 72 years ago, some random kid found this play called 'The Phantom.' So, because plot, they decided to put it on, the rehearsals started, the kid who found the play got presumably typecast as the Phantom, and it was all going really well. However, on the night of the play, the kid vanished. Not because he died or anything; just the copyright people were closing in on him and he had to leave the country to somewhere nicer, like Mount Etna.
So, they all have a table read of sorts and then everyone goes home. Everyone except Carly Beth and Billy Deep, that is, the latter of whom says "Hey, let's go down this mysterious trap door for no reason!" There's the Billy we know and love! They don't end up directly under the stage; rather, they find themselves in a dark tunnel that the stage trapdoor goes down to, for some reason. And, no, that's never explained. So, they go back up, but the mechanism gets stuck about 5 feet from the top of the stage. Billy climbs out, saying that he'll pull Carly Beth out, but she's instead pulled out by Slappy, some mysterious bloke who tells them that he's the night janitor. Carly Beth thinks that it's weird that she's never seen him before, despite the fact that it's unlikely she would've.
The next day, Carly Beth gets to school to find a new guy, Jackson Standler (yes, you may boo to your heart's content), sitting in her place. I'm only mentioning him now because he relevant later on, and there isn't a better opportunity to introduce him. However, when Carly Beth opens her locker after form/homeroom/whatever, she discovers Billy's Phantom mask with a note reading 'STAY AWAY FROM MY HOME SWEET HOME.' She confronts Billy about it, but he acts clueless on the subject. Well, more clueless than usual, anyway.
At the evening's rehearsal, the Phantom elegantly swings over the performers like lame Zorro or something. (For more adventures of lame Zorro, go watch The Legend of Zorro, from 2005) However, upon leaving, Carly Beth discovers that Billy was at the dentist's during the rehearsal, and I guess just nobody noticed that he was gone and that he just waited to do his Spiderman thing on the tech balcony. Also, Jackson is part of the set crew now. And was absent when the Phantom showed up. I wonder who it was.
Some more shenanigans occur, leading Carly Beth and Billy to the obvious conclusion that there's a real phantom in the school. Also, apparently the school has no 'Slappy' in their employment; indeed, there's no night janitor whatsoever. Eventually, somebody paints 'STAY AWAY FROM MY HOME SWEET HOME' on the backdrop, and the trail of paint leads to Billy's locker. Billy is blamed for this, is in spite of the fact that there's just a paint can in his locker and nothing he could've painted the message with.
So, Billy is fired, and replaced with some randy who I don't care about. After Madame Doom cancels the play after her script is glued together, and then uncancels it the very next sentence. Billy decides to prove his innocence, so he coerces Carly Beth and Jackson into partaking in the ol' Goosebumps standby with him. They then go down the trapdoor, where they encounter Slappy. They respond by calling him the phantom. Turns out he's just homeless, and was trying to protect his make-shift dwelling. Oh. Then they get rescued by Billy's Dad, and they call the police on Slappy, because of America's weird policy on the homeless. And (almost) everything is lovely once again.Wonderful.
The night of the play arrives, and Billy's been cleared of all charges and can play the Phantom once more. Everybody does their mediocre performances, and finally the Phantom arrives to save the play. And by the Phantom, I mean the actual Phantom, not Billy. The Phantom explains melodramatically to Carly Beth that he is in fact the kid who fell down the trapdoor. The fall killed him, and ever since then he has haunted the school, For some reason, the audience assume this is all part of the play. I mean, it does actually seem a lot better than the original. Carly Beth decides that, instead of waiting until they return to the wings, she'll just find out who the Phantom is by ripping his mask off in front of everyone. The Phantom cries out, and stumbles around the stage, before plummeting back down the trap door. He died as he lived - melodramatically. This warrants a standing ovation from the audience, none of whom thought "Hmm, this play's a bit short."
Carly Beth meets up with Billy, who claims that he'd been knocked out. They plan to nip home and change before heading off to the cast party. However, when they get to Carly Beth's locker, they discover an Olde yearbook within, including a section on The Phantom, which hadn't been performed by the time this was printed. It includes a picture of the Phantom's initial performer - Jackson. Well, isn't that just a great note to end the 100th review on!
Any Questions?
Did nobody notice that Jackson didn't have any parents? Or an address? Is the American education system really this lax over transfer students/
Extra Toppings
The bit where Carly Beth discovers Jackson sitting in her chair is framed as a cliffhanger. Yeah, I'm on the edge of my seat too.
Conclusion
Phantom of the Auditorium is another averagely bad Goosebumps book, with all the fake-outs, next-to-pointless characters, and plot holes. However, the climax with the Phantom is actually quite entertaining, if a bit... hammy. All in all, pretty unmention-worthy
Some more shenanigans occur, leading Carly Beth and Billy to the obvious conclusion that there's a real phantom in the school. Also, apparently the school has no 'Slappy' in their employment; indeed, there's no night janitor whatsoever. Eventually, somebody paints 'STAY AWAY FROM MY HOME SWEET HOME' on the backdrop, and the trail of paint leads to Billy's locker. Billy is blamed for this, is in spite of the fact that there's just a paint can in his locker and nothing he could've painted the message with.
So, Billy is fired, and replaced with some randy who I don't care about. After Madame Doom cancels the play after her script is glued together, and then uncancels it the very next sentence. Billy decides to prove his innocence, so he coerces Carly Beth and Jackson into partaking in the ol' Goosebumps standby with him. They then go down the trapdoor, where they encounter Slappy. They respond by calling him the phantom. Turns out he's just homeless, and was trying to protect his make-shift dwelling. Oh. Then they get rescued by Billy's Dad, and they call the police on Slappy, because of America's weird policy on the homeless. And (almost) everything is lovely once again.Wonderful.
The night of the play arrives, and Billy's been cleared of all charges and can play the Phantom once more. Everybody does their mediocre performances, and finally the Phantom arrives to save the play. And by the Phantom, I mean the actual Phantom, not Billy. The Phantom explains melodramatically to Carly Beth that he is in fact the kid who fell down the trapdoor. The fall killed him, and ever since then he has haunted the school, For some reason, the audience assume this is all part of the play. I mean, it does actually seem a lot better than the original. Carly Beth decides that, instead of waiting until they return to the wings, she'll just find out who the Phantom is by ripping his mask off in front of everyone. The Phantom cries out, and stumbles around the stage, before plummeting back down the trap door. He died as he lived - melodramatically. This warrants a standing ovation from the audience, none of whom thought "Hmm, this play's a bit short."
Carly Beth meets up with Billy, who claims that he'd been knocked out. They plan to nip home and change before heading off to the cast party. However, when they get to Carly Beth's locker, they discover an Olde yearbook within, including a section on The Phantom, which hadn't been performed by the time this was printed. It includes a picture of the Phantom's initial performer - Jackson. Well, isn't that just a great note to end the 100th review on!
Any Questions?
Did nobody notice that Jackson didn't have any parents? Or an address? Is the American education system really this lax over transfer students/
Extra Toppings
The bit where Carly Beth discovers Jackson sitting in her chair is framed as a cliffhanger. Yeah, I'm on the edge of my seat too.
Conclusion
Phantom of the Auditorium is another averagely bad Goosebumps book, with all the fake-outs, next-to-pointless characters, and plot holes. However, the climax with the Phantom is actually quite entertaining, if a bit... hammy. All in all, pretty unmention-worthy
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