Goosebumps Series 2000 #18: Horrors of the Black Ring

Plot
We open with our protagonist, Beth Welch, falling for the ol' "No brakes" joke at the hands of the local jerk, Anthony Gonzales, in which he pretends his bike is careening towards Beth at the speed of sound or something. Because she couldn't just get out of the way. This isn't even the lamest Anthony's pranks have actually gotten: he once told Beth that her bird died, even though it didn't. That had 'em rolling in the aisles. Beth discovers a bird with a busted wing, and sort of saves its life. This does end up making her late, though, so you decide what was more worthwhile (especially since, spoilers, the bird dies).

So, anyway, plot-relevant details I need to squeeze in: there's some guy called Danny Jacobs Beth likes (yeah, that'll go far), the teacher, Mrs Gold, has a mysterious black ring that I'm sure will in no way impact the plot, and they're all preparing for the school carnival. You know, that thing which all schools dedicate their time too. Also, after art class when they were making art to sell at the carnival, they find "The Carnival is Doomed," written on the blackboard. In 1999. Then Anthony walks by with chalk on his hands, because lord knows Mrs Gold's black ring can't have anything to do with it!

After some nothing, including Beth's sister asking her to rank her identical Barbie dolls, the art room gets trashed. The only painting left is some rude portrait of Beth that Anthony did, that serves no purpose other than to make you think it was him (even though it clearly wasn't) and to make Tumblr think "Oh, they hate each other and keep drawing attention to it! They must be in love!" So, yeah, because Mrs Gold really wants to get fired, she cancels lessons, and sends everyone down to the art room to do replacement art to sell at the carnival. Screw anyone else who had already booked the room, I guess!

So, later, in Home Ec, Danny and Beth make cookies in the oven which spontaneously combust as Anthony happens to walk by the classroom. All I can really do is compare to the bit in Darth Paper Strikes Back with the exploding pizza bagels, but with less charm. And humour. And anything quality-wise. A single incinerated tray of cookies warrants a large donation of food. That is all full of maggots. Miss Gold then further incriminates both herself and the ring she's wearing, though the book makes further efforts later on to convince us that Danny's the culprit.

The morning of the carnival arrives. Yaaaaay. Danny, who is perched atop the dunk tank, eggs Anthony on to knock him into the tank... for some reason... and Anthony succeeds. Except the tank is full of boiling water... for some reason... and Danny plummets in there, though he doesn't die... for some reason.

Later, Beth takes her sister Amanda to the carnival, and leaves her with her arch-nemesis while she mans the ticket sales. Genius. Some bloke dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come tries to buy a ticket, but left their wallet at home. The Spectre calmly responds by exploding the lights (somehow), making the tables spontaneously combust (somehow), and making a plague of wasps descend on the carnival-goers (somehow). The Spirit then tries kidnapping Amanda, but is tackled by a policeman. Who's there now, I guess. But it doesn't matter now, because the spirit is... Anthony! OK, no, not really. It's, of course, Mrs Gold. Jaws to be dropped. The end.

OK, not really.

As Mrs Gold protests that she was forced to commit these actions by non-specified forces, Beth discovers Mrs Gold's Black ring on the floor and because it's pretty obvious that the ring is the non-specified force I just mentioned, she puts it on. TL;DR, over the next couple of days, she ends up Son-of-Slappying for a bit because of the ring, including smashing up Anthony's bike.

Eventually, at some bike-a-thon, Beth decides that she sick of being compelled to do slightly naughty actions by a piece of jewellery, so she nips back and grabs some metal cutters. Also, like I said, that bird from the beginning has kicked the bucket. However, as she tries to cut off the ring, an enormous cloudy face, who shall be named "Nicholas de Twinklecakes" after the villain from Mr Gum and the Power Crystals, emerges from it. Apparently, its evil has "outgrown the ring." Boy, smashing up people's bikes is worse than I thought. For whatever reason, Beth decides to try taking off the ring with her hands, despite the fact she's already tried that. And it actually works. Apparently, Nicholas de Twinklecake's absence made it much, much heavier than it is now. She puts the ring on the dead bird, and Nicholas de Twinklecakes is sucked back into the ring. Because plot. And everything's lovely once again. Wonderful. And then Amanda gets some necklace with its own Nicholas de Twinklecakes.

Any Questions?
So, scientifically, how does a ball of gas with a consciousness have a mass that large? I figure that a gas's volume is traditionally mostly the space between the particles, so the density of it cannot be that great. Also, how would its mass affect the ease of removing the ring; surely that would be its tightness?

Conclusion
Horrors of the Black Ring is dull, dull, dull. The reveal of Mrs Gold as the culprit is obvious, nothing new is brought to the table, Nicholas de Twinklecakes is a lame villain, etc, etc. In short, it's not worth any attention.