Billy Deep and his sister Sheena are spending another summer on their uncles floating lab in the Carribean. Last year, Billy made one of the most shocking disoveries in the history of marine biology. This year, Billy's looknig to find something really big.
And he soon finds it. Or rather, them. While he and Sheena swuim and snorkel, the fish are gathering. And growing. And with their monster sized bodies come monster sized appetites. The fish are biting back!
Plot
We open with Billy Deep telling us that he's back. For regulars of this blog, that means start cheering already! He then begins to recount the events of the first Deep Trouble.
Previously on
Billy Deep, undersea explorer extraordinaire, was on holiday on the boat of his scientist uncle, Dr D. Dr D was offered a million quid from a zoo, f all places, to catch a mermaid, which Billy somehow managed to find. Well, I say 'find': Billy got attacked by a shark (yeah, his whole thing around here is his tendency to run into danger without any thought) and the mermaid saved him. Then he brought her back to the ship, but then some kidnappers and Alex, the world's worst cook and the ship's first mate tried to, well, kidnap her. Thankfully, she was saved, and the kidnappers.... OK, I forgot what happened to them. Dr D told the zoo that the mermaid wasn't real, and Billy saw some sea monster that he ran into. The end... of the sea monster's inclusion, at least. Also, I said that I would never feel any sympathy or love for Billy Deep. Poor, naive, 2017 me.
So, anyway, Billy comes across a gigantic octopus. As he fights the beast, he gets a cunning plan, though it's only a 'cunning plan' in the sense that Baldric would come up with it. So, he starts tickling the octopus, allowing him to escape its grasp. Suddenly,
"Stop it, Billy," whined the octopus. "I hate your stupid jokes. Stop tickling me!"Don't worry, Billy isn't high or anything, he's just pretending that Sheena's a killer octopus. Didn't we do this in the first book?
Billy and Sheena climb back on the Cassandra, (that's the boat), where Billy reveals his new plan: one with Billy Deep written in the corner of every page: he's gonna swim underwater, with a grey pillow above him sticking out of the water. Sheena will see this, and, according to Billy, she'll think he's a shark. If this were anyone else, I'd moan, but this is why we all love Billy Deep. So, he puts his plan into action. At first glance, Sheena falls for it, but, when Billy comes to the surface, he spies an actual shark coming towards him. Oh, the incredibly coincidental irony!
Billy quickly hops onto the Cassandra, and he and Sheena floor it, escaping the shark. Because they just happen to know how to drive boats. (I mean, it's not that difficult, but we're not exactly dealing with Albert Einstein here) Dr D exits his lab, and Billy and Sheena explain about the shark. He says that it couldn't have been a shark, as there aren't any sharks in these waters. Billy, are you suggesting that sharks migrate? (Do sharks migrate? I don't know) Dr D takes them to his lab, where he has a specimen similar to the "shark" in a tank. Billy starts flipping through a book of fish, and gets to a section with very tiny fish indeed. Somehow, his stupidity pays off, as he discovers that the "shark" is actually an enormous minnow. I wouldn't be surprised if Billy thought it was that in the first place.
Dr D gives Billy some plankton to feed his goldfish... which he has now. However, there's a human head in the fishbowl. Dammit, Sheena! Put your murder victims in the recycling; don't leave them lying around the boat! Actually, Sheena did put a head in there... a doll's head. The bowl just magnified the head, and Billy's incredibly tiny brain probably did the rest. Then we get the fakest statement ever delivered in this series:
It isn't even like [Billy Deep, ocean explorer extraordinaire] to fall for such a stupid joke!Later, Billy decides to play 2 pranks on Sheena, since the last one backfired. I mean, sure, the last one wouldn't have worked anyway, but Billy at least thought it would've, and that's what matters. So, he goes off diving while Dr D heads back to the lab to do some research on the giant minnow. Sheena catches Billy, and goes off diving with him. We get some pretty nice undersea imagery, when, suddenly, they spy a giant pink blob. Demonstrating that stupid runs in the family, Sheena swims straight into the blob. Don't expect her to come back, mind. Billy manages to realise that the blob is actually an enormous jellyfish, and he can somehow see Sheena pressed against the inside of the jellyfish. Is that how jellyfish work? (Charlie Valentine, 2018) So, Billy comes up with a plan suited to his entire MO: he jumps into the jellyfish to get Sheena. Wait, how'll he get out? Luckily, he leaves his legs hanging out. Yeah, that'll work well. He grabs her keg, but that fails. Then the jellyfish starts squeezing them, and then they die. The end.
No, not really. The jellyfish loosens its grip for no particular reason, allowing Billy and Sheena to escape. And, after being stuck inside a gigantic poisonous sea creature, they are of course perfectly fine. Actually, there was a reason for the jellyfish releasing them: there was another, equally large jellyfish that it had to fight. I didn't think I wanted to see 2 enormous jellyfish battling each other... and I was perfectly right in that assumption. They're just slapping each other; it's laaaame.
Billy and Sheena get back to the Cassandra to talk to Dr D about the giant, lame jellyfish, but he's nowhere to be found. Suddenly, the boat starts rocking about. As they investigate the disturbance, they come across a gigantic snail. Urgh, I hate it when those get on your boat. They're a real pain to get rid of. "Help me!" cries the snail. Ah, like the rest of us, it wants to be in a more interesting story. After a bit, they realise that the snail isn't talking: it's Dr D, who's stuck under the snail. Are you really surprised that "talking snail" was Billy's first reaction to this? Billy and Sheena push the snail off Dr D, who explains that it fell on him when the boat started shaking. Oh, I thought it just teleported on top of him!
Suddenly, the boat starts tipping over, and Billy hears a commotion coming from his room. Naturally, instead of trying to figure out a way out of this mess, Billy goes to investigate, despite the fact that they are pinned to the wall by tables and whatnot. They all get to his cabin, where they find... his goldfish. And they're bloody massive. Their weight appears to be tipping the boat over, so all they have to do is get the 2 fish the size of rather large horses off the vertical boat. Sounds easy enough. However, using the snail's leftover slime, they're able to dump the goldfish in the ocean, despite the fact that goldfish are freshwater fish and will probably not survive in the saltwater ocean for very long.
Suddenly, there are 3 complete strangers who teleport behind them. The middle one introduces himself as Dr Ritter, and the other 2 are his assistants, Mel and Adam. Because Dr R is a marine biologist, Billy and Dr D ask him if he's seen anything weird going on, like giant sea creatures. Immediately, Dr R proclaims that they know too much, and Mel and Adam start advancing on the gang. Sheena and Dr D try to claim that Billy's making all this up... when the giant snail bursts out of a cabin door. Oh, of course now you show up! For whatever reason, Dr R explains to the gang that he's injecting growth hormone into the plankton, making them grow, allowing for more food to feed people. So, Dr R essentially read George's Marvellous Medicine one evening, and thought 'what if I did that, but with fish?'
Adam and Mel take Billy, Sheena, and Dr D downstairs to a cabin, where they're tied up. Dr D says that, while this could potentially end world hunger, this could throw nature off balance. If all the fish were affected, that really wouldn't work. Billy's about to escape, when Dr R comes in and catches them. He decides to make them jump off the ship, making us all imagine him with an eyepatch, a wooden leg, and maybe a curse of scurvy. Also, Dr R is totally OK with murdering children. Aren't complex villains wonderful? Luckily, before Billy can be pushed into the sea, a pair of enormous seagulls, who must've eaten the plankton too, swoop down on the boat. Quick! Hide your chips!
Using the seagulls to distract Dr R and his henchmen, Dr D helps Billy and Sheena climb into a nearby lifeboat to escape the villains. Adam fires a speargun at Dr D (what's with these guys and the senseless violence?) , but he misses. The lifeboat escapes, but it's anything but plain sailing from here on out. The sea's incredibly choppy, and they've got no resources. Billy eventually falls asleep, and when he wakes up, they're on a desert island. They've got coconuts, and can probably catch some fish, but the island itself is as small as Dr R's social and moral intelligence combined with his common sense - oh my God, Dr R is Billy's father.
A while later, Billy and Sheena are randomly attacked by a giant crab. Boy, Billy has not washed down there in a long time, has he? They climb up a tree, but the branch begins to break. Maybe they would've been lighter if Alexander was still cooking. Luckily the crab has randomly scuttled away for no particular reason.
Later, Billy, Sheena, and Dr D are busy eating coconuts, (well, Billy and Dr D are - Sheena's just moaning about coconuts) when they spy the lifeboat that had drifted away. How did it get there, you don't ask? Giant dolphins pushed it back to them. Yes, really. Did Billy write this part? The gang board the lifeboat, and the dolphins start pulling them away from the island. Boy, this is a very odd alternate ending to Lord of the Flies.
That night, the dolphins finally stop pulling them, and the gang find themselves at a boat. Or, to be more specific, Dr R's boat. Oh dear. Except, wait, it's actually the Cassandra. What actually indicated to you people that it was Dr R's boat? I mean, I get how Billy could've gotten it, but Sheena and Dr D? On board, they start discussing breakfast... as you do in the middle of a crisis involving enourmous fish... when Dr R shows up, catching them unawares. Oh my god, Billy's dad is also Batman!
Dr R gets them all into Dr D's lab, where he shows off the samples of George's Marvellous Plankton that Dr D has acquired. He reveals that the plankton, when ingested by humans, has a different side effect - it turns people into fish.
Dr D says that they can let Dr R go, since he can't do anymore, and that the adventure is over. What about all the plankton in the sea, and all the giant animals? Maybe you could've kept the minnow to sell to the zoo people, at least! Sheena starts grilling Billy about how he didn't turn into a fish when he downed the plankton. He explains that, after Sheena put the doll's head in a fishbowl, he came up with a new prank. He emptied out a bottle of plankton from the lab (Dr D rightfully shoots him a glare after he reveals this) and filled it with iced tea. Then he'd be all "Hey Sheena, I'm gonnna drink plankton" and down it in front of her. I'm not a marine biologist or anything, but I don't think plankton and iced tea look that similar. When Dr R told Billy to down the plankton, he simply drank the iced tea instead. Sheena reveals that she had actually planned out the exact same prank. Great minds think alike, but fools rarely differ! She downs her iced tea, but then start groaning and thinks that she drank the wrong bottle. And then that's the end. What a great twist.
Extra Toppings
You remember Dr R's henchmen, Adam and Mel, right? No? I don't care! Mel got turned into a fish. Yeah, Dr R essentially disposed of his henchmen for no particular reason.
Any Questions?
So, how does the growth hormone in the plankton affect everything except humans in the same way? Not every animal on Earth has the same chemical makeup! Come to think of it, what would happen if a chimp ingested the plankton? Actually, wouldn't everything grow? It's growth hormone, not magic fish hormone!
Conclusion
For me, Deep Trouble II was decent. Nothing spectacular, but nothing bad either. This being said, it's probably only because of Billy Deep's presence (don't worry, he'll be back in October), because the story is uninteresting, it doesn't end so much as stop, and Dr R is just not very interesting. Maybe give it a miss unless you're looking for more Billy Deep.
Next Time: The official 1 year anniversary review lands, with Dr Maniac and The Purple Rage along for the ride!
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