Sunday Shorts: Don't Wake Mummy

Jeff, our protagonist, lives with his sister, Kim, who is of course extremely annoying. He's absolutely petrified of mummies (Abby Martin, meet your new best friend). One day, a mummy accidentally gets delivered to their house. Oh no, not again! So, since Jeff's dad is a museum curator and he's the one who bought the mummy for his museum, the family'll hold onto the mummy until it can get picked up. That night, Jeff wakes up and the mummy comes after him-(*spits out water*)wait, a mummy doing something? In Goosebumps? Also, Jeff was already convinced that the mummy was going to attack him, despite the fact that its sarcophagous was wrapped in loads of chains. Mum shows up and the mummy runs away. So, is the mummy afraid of mummies too? (*crickets chirping*)

The next day, Jeff goes out to look for info on how to stop the mummy. Instead of asking his Mum for advice (she seems to be very well versed in it), he goes to the local library. Strangely enough, it's open, despite the fact that the council should've limited the time that it's open as much as possible. After Jeff  finds no books on stopping mummies that sleep in your basement and presumably scrounge off the family, he nips round to Ye Local Magic Shoppe, next to Ye Olde Armour and Weapons Shoppe. Typical Texan main street. There, he buys some mummy dust, whatever that is. I'm not making the obvious joke here; it's a family blog.

The following night, the mummy comes to attack Jeff once more, so he gets out the mummy dust. However, the mummy runs at him and pushes him over (someone's been working out), spilling the mummy dust everywhere. Dammit, I just vacuumed in here! Luckily, Mum comes out again, and the mummy runs away, wetting itself as it goes. Dad comes out and admits that he bought a mummy from a rival museum. Apparently, it was cursed and stuff, and it would come to life if it wasn't wrapped in magic chains. I'd call this stupid if I hadn't already written about a radio that beams classical music into the sky.

And then both the narrator and tense change. Listen closely, folks: YOU CAN'T DO THAT! It jumps to Kim's perspectve, revealing that she was just dressing up as the mummy the whole time. Judging by her reactions to Mum's appearance, I'm rather concerened about their relationship. Kim's going to hide in the mummy case, but then she bumps into the actual mummy, who is actually walking about. (*spits out drink again*)

Don't Wake Mummy is a bog-standard, god-awful short story. It's stupid, uncreative, and has no marks of quality whatsoever, kind of like half the characters in An Inspector Calls. Err... that's all I've got to say, really. Bye all, I guess.
  

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