Sunday Shorts: The Space Suit Snatcher

Well, we're off to a good start with our protagonist's interest: Laura has built some kind of radio that can send radio waves into space, so she spends the night beaming classical music into the sky for aliens to listen to. gytpsrgjofbdz;k Sorry, that was me slamming my head on the keyboard. I hope she doesn't make them suffer the torture of listening to the Brandenburg Concert No. 5 Movement III over and over, like those who study GCSE music.

One day, Laura goes to a garage sale (what is it with these stories and junk sales?), where the old man running the sale overhears her conversation about her bloody radio, and hands her a gift: a space suit given to him by aliens when he was a boy. If this story was any dumber, it'd be supporting UKIP. Apparently, the aliens said that if the man ever wanted to join them, all he had to do was wear the suit and they'd come pick him up. You know, I could've sworn that I heard a tiny voice coming from this book saying "Vote Bolton!"

That night, during Laura's damn radio show that is probably the original timeline's version of Matt Daniels, given how annoying it is, she receives a signal from some aliens who say that they're going to come get her. The next day, Laura spies an alien at her window, but, before her parents get there to see it, it's gone. I don't remember this episode of Phineas and Ferb.

The next night, it's Halloween, because why the hell not. Laura sets off to receive a disappointing haul of confectionery trick-or-treat., when she meets the alien once more. Except, wait, it's not an alien at all; it was Laura's sister, Tammy, whom I have neglected to mention until now. The whole thing was a set up by Tammy and her friends. But suddenly, Tammy is beamed up by the actual aliens. That's what you get for killing Bird Person. One of the aliens shows up, who tells Laura that Tammy "volunteered" to get beamed up by the aliens when she put on the space suit. Before it leaves, it says that the aliens like Laura's radio show, since I guess intergalactic radio show, though they recommend that she should play some more Rock 'n' Roll. Personally, I'd recommend that Laura played something by the Lancashire Hotpots every once in a while.

The Space Suit Snatcher is, quite frankly, one of the stupidest things I've ever read since Twisted. The whole idea of the radio broadcasting and the space suit are completely ridiculous, and the whole alien set-up is just boring. With this in mind though, the ending's not that bad, but it's not going to save it.