Well, here we are. 43 posts in, and somehow only now does a blog called The Werewolf's New House cover a story about werewolves. Please don't sue me for false advertising. Our protagonist, Brian, is off to a holiday camp, Thunder Lake (that name is wasted on this place, it sounds way too awesome), which of course has a camp for the kids. Because we can't have anyone going anywhere during the summer that isn't a camp in Goosebumps. It's Brian's first year at the teen camp (Adults: "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."), and he's terrified because apparently there's werewolves. Because that's a logical conclusion to jump to just because one or 2 people told him.
At the camp, they're playing softball, when the batter, Don, smiles upon catching Brian out. And he has wolf fangs. Alright, that's not what werewolves in human form look like. They have pointy ears, a monobrow, and a lot of hair, sure, but they don't have visible fangs. And then when Don looks round again, his fangs are gone. These are the most illogical "werewolves" in the history of the universe.
That night, Brian sees someone running and howling through the woods wearing a red bulls t-shirt, just like another camper, Phil. Please bear in mind that werewolves in human form don't perform werewolf-ish actions, and it's not a full moon for another 4 days. The next morning, Brian spies wolf tracks where Phil was seen running through the woods. Again, it wasn't the full moon last night. This is the most obvious yet elaborate practical joke ever conceived.
A few nights later, the gang have a cookout by the lake. And nothing noteworthy happens during the cookout, but as they're off back to the cabin, Brian realises that he forgot his jacket, so he runs back to get it. At the lake, he sees yet another camper, Jake, howling at the not-full moon. I'm guessing that all Brian knows about werewolves is that they are people who turn into wolves on the full moon. Presumably just leaving his jacket at the lake, Brian dashes back up the path and tells his friend, Kevin about Jake as he catches up to him. But then Brian notices Kevin stuffing a piece of raw hamburger meat into his mouth. Again, werewolves in human form don't do that! Also, where the hell would Kevin have even gotten raw hamburger meat from in the first place? (I'm saying would because this is a very obvious fake-out.)
The following night, it's a full moon, and they're having an overnight camp. So, first, Brian tries to make himself sick (he tried telling his mum that something's up with his tonsils, but Mum points out that he had his tonsils out 2 years ago.), but that fails. So he tries telling his parents that he doesn't want to go on the campout because all the guys are mean. They force him to go. What's stopping him from just hiding in his cabin? So, that night, Brian skips dinner and hides in the safest and sturdiest structure around - his tent. That's when the howling starts, and it looks like we're in for a good spooky, subtle scene. But then Brian runs out of his tent, and spies Phil, who's become a werewolf. Then Jake, Kevin, Don, and the other campers emerge from their tents, and they've also become werewolves. Subtlety? What's that? The werewolves begin closing in, with Phil coming face to face with Brian. And then he takes his mask off. The whole thing was an elaborate, ludicrous practical joke. Apparently, they pull this prank every year, but Brian fell for it the best. Probably because he's a typical short story protagonist, and therefore a complete imbecile, who is composed entirely of the element I just made up, Stupidium (element number: a squillion, atomic weight: a gazillion). They then explain how they did it (read the story if you want to know, I really don't care anymore), and say that the joke's over. But then Brian turns into a werewolf and just nonchalantly accepts it before chasing after the other campers to presumably murder and eat them. Then, if he was a werewolf the whole time, then why was he so scared of them?
The Werewolf's First Night deserves to be The Werewolf's Last Night, as well. The protagonist is imbecilic, the whole "werewolf" prank is blindingly obvious to anyone with common sense about werewolves (werewolves do not typically display werewolf-ish traits in human form unless they're Fenrir Greyback), and the big reveal is just lacking in subtlety or any means of enjoyability. This might be the 3rd worst of these stories that I've done so far.
At the camp, they're playing softball, when the batter, Don, smiles upon catching Brian out. And he has wolf fangs. Alright, that's not what werewolves in human form look like. They have pointy ears, a monobrow, and a lot of hair, sure, but they don't have visible fangs. And then when Don looks round again, his fangs are gone. These are the most illogical "werewolves" in the history of the universe.
That night, Brian sees someone running and howling through the woods wearing a red bulls t-shirt, just like another camper, Phil. Please bear in mind that werewolves in human form don't perform werewolf-ish actions, and it's not a full moon for another 4 days. The next morning, Brian spies wolf tracks where Phil was seen running through the woods. Again, it wasn't the full moon last night. This is the most obvious yet elaborate practical joke ever conceived.
A few nights later, the gang have a cookout by the lake. And nothing noteworthy happens during the cookout, but as they're off back to the cabin, Brian realises that he forgot his jacket, so he runs back to get it. At the lake, he sees yet another camper, Jake, howling at the not-full moon. I'm guessing that all Brian knows about werewolves is that they are people who turn into wolves on the full moon. Presumably just leaving his jacket at the lake, Brian dashes back up the path and tells his friend, Kevin about Jake as he catches up to him. But then Brian notices Kevin stuffing a piece of raw hamburger meat into his mouth. Again, werewolves in human form don't do that! Also, where the hell would Kevin have even gotten raw hamburger meat from in the first place? (I'm saying would because this is a very obvious fake-out.)
The following night, it's a full moon, and they're having an overnight camp. So, first, Brian tries to make himself sick (he tried telling his mum that something's up with his tonsils, but Mum points out that he had his tonsils out 2 years ago.), but that fails. So he tries telling his parents that he doesn't want to go on the campout because all the guys are mean. They force him to go. What's stopping him from just hiding in his cabin? So, that night, Brian skips dinner and hides in the safest and sturdiest structure around - his tent. That's when the howling starts, and it looks like we're in for a good spooky, subtle scene. But then Brian runs out of his tent, and spies Phil, who's become a werewolf. Then Jake, Kevin, Don, and the other campers emerge from their tents, and they've also become werewolves. Subtlety? What's that? The werewolves begin closing in, with Phil coming face to face with Brian. And then he takes his mask off. The whole thing was an elaborate, ludicrous practical joke. Apparently, they pull this prank every year, but Brian fell for it the best. Probably because he's a typical short story protagonist, and therefore a complete imbecile, who is composed entirely of the element I just made up, Stupidium (element number: a squillion, atomic weight: a gazillion). They then explain how they did it (read the story if you want to know, I really don't care anymore), and say that the joke's over. But then Brian turns into a werewolf and just nonchalantly accepts it before chasing after the other campers to presumably murder and eat them. Then, if he was a werewolf the whole time, then why was he so scared of them?
The Werewolf's First Night deserves to be The Werewolf's Last Night, as well. The protagonist is imbecilic, the whole "werewolf" prank is blindingly obvious to anyone with common sense about werewolves (werewolves do not typically display werewolf-ish traits in human form unless they're Fenrir Greyback), and the big reveal is just lacking in subtlety or any means of enjoyability. This might be the 3rd worst of these stories that I've done so far.
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