Alright, before we get started... horror 101, guys. If you put "of doom" on the end of something, it surprisingly doesn't make it intimidating. Anyway, our story begins with our """""""""""hero"""""""""" (is that enough quotation marks?), Trisha, bored out of her mind one summer. Unfortunately, her friend Jeremy's cousin, Harold, is almost as half as boring as this story. Apparently, this kid just wants to stay at home and read the dictionary. The dictionary. If Harold had any less of a life, he'd be dead. However, a new girl has moved into the street called Carla. It seems that she doesn't listen to Stevie Wonder, as she is incredibly superstitious, into horoscopes and stuff. Is the twist that she works for Buzzfeed in some way? Oh, if only; the twist ending might be the worst one in all of goosebumps.
Carla's superstitions are incredibly annoying, especially for Trisha and Jeremy and the reader. She apparently won't even let them ride a blue canoe on a Tuesday, because that is a legitimate superstition. Her greatest fear is the pants-wettingly named "thumbprint of doom," a curse which spells death within 24 hours upon all those who receive it. I wish I had been given it the day before I decided to review this story. Eventually, Trisha and Jeremy get Carla and Harold to come with them to the fairground that's in town. Bear in mind that this story contains no evil psychics or murderous clowns. Reader beware, you're in for a really boring story that wouldn't entertain a pre-schooler. They end up at a fortune teller, who reads Carla's fortune and to spare her from horrors to come, she gives her the thumbprint of doom. Perhaps she foresaw the ending of the story.
Carla runs off screaming and Trisha and Jeremy revel in their prank. I don't think I put enough quotation marks around "hero" in the beginning. Turns out that they had snuck away to the fairground earlier and paid the fortune teller to pretend to give Carla the thumbprint of doom. This is the most boring thing I've ever read. They tell Carla that they were just joking, because why not. Carla reveals that she knew that they were just joking, because even the characters can't have big revelations. It turns out that she's the only one who could give people the thumbprint of doom (every time I type that, I feel like the world's biggest moron), and proceeds to give it to Trisha, Jeremy and Harold, who run off screaming. This at least would've been a decent ending to the story. But noooo, there's more. It turns out that Carla is actually the fortune teller's daughter, and that she was just playing a joke to get back at Trisha and Jeremy. This might just be the most pointless thing I ever read.
I decided to review this story purely because I had a dream in which at one point I had to review it. I have come to the conclusion that had I not woken up, Freddy Krueger would have shown up and killed me. It is the most boring, pointless, unenjoyable things I've ever read. Usually, I enjoy reviewing these short stories for the sheer amount of jokes I can make at their expense, but this may be one of the worst things that has ever existed because of goosebumps, and that includes that terrible "ermagherd berks" meme (for those who don't know what that is, here's an example).
Just... don't read this. It's the one of the worst things ever.
Carla's superstitions are incredibly annoying, especially for Trisha and Jeremy and the reader. She apparently won't even let them ride a blue canoe on a Tuesday, because that is a legitimate superstition. Her greatest fear is the pants-wettingly named "thumbprint of doom," a curse which spells death within 24 hours upon all those who receive it. I wish I had been given it the day before I decided to review this story. Eventually, Trisha and Jeremy get Carla and Harold to come with them to the fairground that's in town. Bear in mind that this story contains no evil psychics or murderous clowns. Reader beware, you're in for a really boring story that wouldn't entertain a pre-schooler. They end up at a fortune teller, who reads Carla's fortune and to spare her from horrors to come, she gives her the thumbprint of doom. Perhaps she foresaw the ending of the story.
Carla runs off screaming and Trisha and Jeremy revel in their prank. I don't think I put enough quotation marks around "hero" in the beginning. Turns out that they had snuck away to the fairground earlier and paid the fortune teller to pretend to give Carla the thumbprint of doom. This is the most boring thing I've ever read. They tell Carla that they were just joking, because why not. Carla reveals that she knew that they were just joking, because even the characters can't have big revelations. It turns out that she's the only one who could give people the thumbprint of doom (every time I type that, I feel like the world's biggest moron), and proceeds to give it to Trisha, Jeremy and Harold, who run off screaming. This at least would've been a decent ending to the story. But noooo, there's more. It turns out that Carla is actually the fortune teller's daughter, and that she was just playing a joke to get back at Trisha and Jeremy. This might just be the most pointless thing I ever read.
I decided to review this story purely because I had a dream in which at one point I had to review it. I have come to the conclusion that had I not woken up, Freddy Krueger would have shown up and killed me. It is the most boring, pointless, unenjoyable things I've ever read. Usually, I enjoy reviewing these short stories for the sheer amount of jokes I can make at their expense, but this may be one of the worst things that has ever existed because of goosebumps, and that includes that terrible "ermagherd berks" meme (for those who don't know what that is, here's an example).
 |
| Really? What's the joke even supposed to be? |
Comments
Post a Comment
Please don't be offensive down there. That is all. Good day.