Hearkening back to Monster Blood for Breakfast once more, right from the title, I know we've got a winner here. One day, our protagonist, Matt, who I'm going to pretend is Matt Daniels, because everyone loves when I talk about Monster Blood for Breakfast, accidentally leaves his lunch box on the bus one day. Well, either that or Bradley nicked it while he wasn't looking. So, his mum buys him a new lunch box, because these are the quality type of scares I buy these books for. On it, the box has 3 monsters chasing a boy, because Matt is in year 3, apparently. He hears a knocking coming from within, but doesn't want to open it as he's had enough of vacuum salesmen. There are also pleas coming from inside begging to be fed and querying if Matt has a minute to talk about our lord and saviour, Jesus Christ.
Eventually, Matt opens the box and out pop 3 monsters. Wow, these are not your average Amazon delivery men, but at least they're dropping off Matt's copy of I am Slappy's Evil Twin, so who cares. They demand that Matt feeds them, or else they'll eat him. Honestly, I'd go with being eaten; it'd get me out of this story faster. Thus, he brings them some food, and we are all left feeling like we should've bought a different book instead. The next morning, they fly to the end of Matt's spoon and eat his breakfast before he can. Don't worry, Matt, I'm sure Bradley has tried to poison you again, it'll be fine.
Turns out that whoever owns the lunch box is responsible for feeding the monsters. Was this trying to be funny? Not that it's succeeding at that, but it makes more sense than it being written as a horror story. After a couple of days, Matt just dumps it at American Poundland (the dollar store) and leaves it for someone else to buy. Wow, that should be nice for the next guy who buys it. Thanks, Matt! The next day, Matt's uncle visits and brings him a thermos, out of which, of course, a monster pops out of. Can next Wednesday's review please not have a predictable ending? I mean, granted, it's Horrorland, but still!
Matt's Lunch Box is the sort of quality that I associate these stories with: awful, but comedy gold. These types of stories are always a blast to write about, but not so much to read. Just skip this story if you ever come across More and More Tales to Give you Goosebumps.
Eventually, Matt opens the box and out pop 3 monsters. Wow, these are not your average Amazon delivery men, but at least they're dropping off Matt's copy of I am Slappy's Evil Twin, so who cares. They demand that Matt feeds them, or else they'll eat him. Honestly, I'd go with being eaten; it'd get me out of this story faster. Thus, he brings them some food, and we are all left feeling like we should've bought a different book instead. The next morning, they fly to the end of Matt's spoon and eat his breakfast before he can. Don't worry, Matt, I'm sure Bradley has tried to poison you again, it'll be fine.
Turns out that whoever owns the lunch box is responsible for feeding the monsters. Was this trying to be funny? Not that it's succeeding at that, but it makes more sense than it being written as a horror story. After a couple of days, Matt just dumps it at American Poundland (the dollar store) and leaves it for someone else to buy. Wow, that should be nice for the next guy who buys it. Thanks, Matt! The next day, Matt's uncle visits and brings him a thermos, out of which, of course, a monster pops out of. Can next Wednesday's review please not have a predictable ending? I mean, granted, it's Horrorland, but still!
Matt's Lunch Box is the sort of quality that I associate these stories with: awful, but comedy gold. These types of stories are always a blast to write about, but not so much to read. Just skip this story if you ever come across More and More Tales to Give you Goosebumps.
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