After 3 stories of comedic dreadfulness, it's time for something that I legitimately like. That's breaking the mould. This story does it in another way as well-the main character isn't a prized jerk.
It opens with our heroes (and I actually mean it for once) being harassed by the 2 people compencating for our protagonist's lack of jerkiness, Alex Pratt and Jimmy Stern, who I will be referring to as the Beymer twins - tropical flavour. They're pretty much the same, except slightly less hateable. Why are they tormenting our main characters, Ashley, her little brother Jack, and her cousin Greg, you ask? Because they only hang out at black island during the summer, and all the scurvy knaves who do are wimps. Apparently, Black Island, where this story is set, is where the tropical Beymer twins live all year round, Jim lad. And for whatever reason, me hearties, it be named like something out of a pirate story. Ok, I'll stop.
After pretending that they're going to drop a jellyfish on Ashley's head, beating up Jimmy and Greg, and stealing the latter's sweets, the tropical flavoured Beymer twins depart. On the bright side, however, they didn't get all of Greg's sweets, so there's a bright side, I guess. Greg offrs Ashley a gummy worm, who for whatever thinks they're disgusting, and thus declines. Jack spies a chest nearby, so they go to investigate. Greg tries to kick the lock off, but fails miserably, of course. Ashley spies a piece of driftwood, so grabs it and uses it to open the chest. However, they do not find pirate's treasure or something like that in there, but rather a blob monster. It latches onto Ashley's leg, and, I've got to say, this is a lot more fun than PS: Don't Write Back, which I was originally going to review. It starts crawling up Ashley's leg, using the suckers which it has, leaving a painful trail up her leg. Greg tries hitting it with a stick, but to no avail, and just hurts Ashley's leg. Wow, imagine if this guy was in IT; he'd probably be the first to die. Then the blob removes a sucker from Ashley's leg and starts sniffing around in Greg's pocket. It pulls out a jelly worm and eats it. Thinking quickly, Greg pulls out a handful of jelly worms and waves them in front of the creature. It eats them, jumping off Ashley... and on to Greg.
Worse still, Greg's out of sweets, so Ashley and Jack race off to their house on their bikes, go into Greg's bedroom and start digging around. Luckily, they don't find any of Greg's magazines, but they do find some packets of gummy worms... which are empty. So, they run down to the shop to buy some, in a move that no other short story protagonist would've come up with. I mean, Bonnie Sue Bowers would've just painted her nails and let Greg die, Willa would've gone to shout at Gina, and
Sarah would've just been all "Eh," and not told anyone. Ashley and Jack grab about 20 bags each, but I guess they're not THAT smart, because they forgot to bring any money with them. Ashley pleads to the shopkeeper, saying that they're for Greg, so the shopkeeper says he'll just put it on their parents' bill. As you do.
They set off to the beach, but Jack's gear chain slips. He tells Ashley to continue on her way, which she does, but she gets lost. And who should show up, but the tropical Beymer twins.
They try and take the jelly worms, in a move that is all the more terrible because someone's life is at stake. Unfortunately, there's no monster blood to engulf them, but then Jack shows up and charges at them on his bike, knocking them to the ground. They make it to where Greg is, only to find the Blob is now absolutely massive, or, as Ashley puts it, "Bigger than Mum's beach umbrella." They see Greg's trainer sticking out, and realize he's under the blob. They put down some jelly worms and the blob moves off of Greg. This story should've been called, "The Jelly Worms of Triumph," or something like that. They throw down some more jelly worms (I'm getting sick of typing that) and they lead the blob into back into the chest. They trap it in, when Greg notices some of the you-know-whats (because I don't want to) sticking out, and, because he's a short story character, goes to take them out. Ashley, being the voice of reason (I didn't expect to type that in one of these segments), points out that they'll let the blob out again if they open the chest to get the *CENSORED for sanity reasons*. However, then the Beymer twins (tropical flavour) arrive, so our heroes make a run for it.. The TBTs spot the *CENSORED* poking out from the chest, and lift the lid. OK, why didn't the Beymers get their commupance like that?
Suckers! is a fantastic story. The pacing is good, the monster is really good, the heroes are likeable and the bullies are fun to hate. This is arguably one of the better short stories (although the bar's been set pretty low at this stage. I really can't wait to do the christmas ones), and I think it's worth picking up a copy of More Tales to Give you Goosebumps just for this (except it's probably not, they're rather hard to find).
After pretending that they're going to drop a jellyfish on Ashley's head, beating up Jimmy and Greg, and stealing the latter's sweets, the tropical flavoured Beymer twins depart. On the bright side, however, they didn't get all of Greg's sweets, so there's a bright side, I guess. Greg offrs Ashley a gummy worm, who for whatever thinks they're disgusting, and thus declines. Jack spies a chest nearby, so they go to investigate. Greg tries to kick the lock off, but fails miserably, of course. Ashley spies a piece of driftwood, so grabs it and uses it to open the chest. However, they do not find pirate's treasure or something like that in there, but rather a blob monster. It latches onto Ashley's leg, and, I've got to say, this is a lot more fun than PS: Don't Write Back, which I was originally going to review. It starts crawling up Ashley's leg, using the suckers which it has, leaving a painful trail up her leg. Greg tries hitting it with a stick, but to no avail, and just hurts Ashley's leg. Wow, imagine if this guy was in IT; he'd probably be the first to die. Then the blob removes a sucker from Ashley's leg and starts sniffing around in Greg's pocket. It pulls out a jelly worm and eats it. Thinking quickly, Greg pulls out a handful of jelly worms and waves them in front of the creature. It eats them, jumping off Ashley... and on to Greg.
Worse still, Greg's out of sweets, so Ashley and Jack race off to their house on their bikes, go into Greg's bedroom and start digging around. Luckily, they don't find any of Greg's magazines, but they do find some packets of gummy worms... which are empty. So, they run down to the shop to buy some, in a move that no other short story protagonist would've come up with. I mean, Bonnie Sue Bowers would've just painted her nails and let Greg die, Willa would've gone to shout at Gina, and
Sarah would've just been all "Eh," and not told anyone. Ashley and Jack grab about 20 bags each, but I guess they're not THAT smart, because they forgot to bring any money with them. Ashley pleads to the shopkeeper, saying that they're for Greg, so the shopkeeper says he'll just put it on their parents' bill. As you do.
They set off to the beach, but Jack's gear chain slips. He tells Ashley to continue on her way, which she does, but she gets lost. And who should show up, but the tropical Beymer twins.
Suckers! is a fantastic story. The pacing is good, the monster is really good, the heroes are likeable and the bullies are fun to hate. This is arguably one of the better short stories (although the bar's been set pretty low at this stage. I really can't wait to do the christmas ones), and I think it's worth picking up a copy of More Tales to Give you Goosebumps just for this (except it's probably not, they're rather hard to find).
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