Goosebumps #19: Deep Trouble

Blurb
Billy's having a great holiday, staying on his uncle's boat and exploring underwater.
Until he finds something lurking deep in the sea. Something  no one else knows about. Something that's half-human, half-fish...
Billy knows he has to keep it a secret. Or he and his new discovery could be in deep trouble...

Plot
The book opens with fearless undersea explorer, William Deep Jr., tracking down a great white stingray called Joe (OK, that's just what William calls him). Oh, wow, this sounds awesome! This might not be that bad! As William dives into the water, he notices his diving partner has forgotten to come with him. Then he realizes his oxygen tank isn't working and starts blacking out. Luckily, his diving partner pulls him out of the water. As he starts breathing in heavily, he blacks out. Oh, wow, this is intense! I wonder what happens next?

My diving partner shoved my head back under the water. I opened my eyes and came up spluttering.

What?

"Get real, Billy," she said. "Can't you snorkel without acting like a total jerk?"

Oh, no.

I sighed. She was no fun.

Please, no.

My 'Diving partner' was really just my bratty little sister, Sheena. I was only pretending to be William Deep Jr., undersea explorer.

God f***ing dammit.

William, or Billy, as everyone calls him, pinches Sheena's leg. He apparently refers to this as The Attack of the Giant Lobster Man! I'm not over the fake out with the whole William Deep Jr., undersea explorer thing, this is not making me hate you less. Billy reveals that he and Sheena are spending the summer on their uncle's boat, the Cassandra. Their uncle, Dr D (real name George) is a marine biologist. Apparently, Billy and Sheena spend every summer on their uncle's boat, and it beats hanging out at home. I just spent most of my summer hanging out at home, but it was still enjoyable (feel free to mock me in the comments). This year, they're apparently anchored off of the coast of a small island in the Caribbean. Billy gives us some boring exposition about the boat and Dr D that contributes to absolutely nowt, and then he and Sheena go off snorkeling. Dr D tells them not to go near the reef, because of sharks. Billy and Sheena head off, until Billy accidentally goes too far and ends up at the reef. Whoops. Then he feels something grab his leg and it pulls him downwards. And it's a sea monster. No, really, it's a sea monster. And we're only on chapter 3. Holy s***.

Dr D pulls Billy up, and he explains what happens. Sheena claims it never happened, and Dr D thinks it was just a bit of seaweed combined with Billy's imagination. Billy and Sheena race back to the boat, and because he's an idiot, Billy takes a shortcut through the reef. He steps on it and burns his foot. Billy surfaces and Sheena calls Dr D over, who explains the reef is made of fire coral, which is why he didn't want them swimming there. Billy says they have to go back to find the sea monster, but Sheena taunts him saying that there's no such thing. Dr D points out that it's better to say that no-one's ever seen one, which is a good point. They go back, but Billy feels the sea monster grab his leg as he swims back. And the sea monster only comes back one more time. God damn it.

So, if the sea monster isn't what the plot is centered around, then what is this book about? Well, before that question is answered, we have to meet one last character: Alexander, Dr D's assistant. Alexander is in his early twenties, looks more like an American football player than a scientist, and is a horrible cook. He announces today that he's made chicken salad sandwiches, to which Sheena responds by rolling her eyes. Billy starts eating, then burns his tongue and immediately comes to the logical conclusion that Alexander put fire coral in the sandwiches. OK, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to feel sympathy for this guy, because he's the biggest moron since... well, humanity. It turns out that Alexander just made the sandwiches really spicy. Who would've guessed. Sheena decides to have cereal for lunch, as does Billy, before Dr D comes in.

"What's for lunch?" he asked.
"Chicken salad sandwiches," said Alexander. "I made them spicy."
"Very spicy," I warned him.
 Dr D glanced at me and raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really?" he said. "You know, I'm not very hungry. I think I'll just have cereal for lunch."

OK, that's pretty funny. Alexander shows Billy and Sheena round the ship, and show them some weird fish. He exposits about how they're running out of money, and if that happens, it'll mean no more summer visits and Billy and Sheena will have to actually do something on their vacation, like hang out with their friends or go to a theme park *wink*.

Billy goes up deck for some air. When he passes Dr D's cabin, however, he overhears some zoo people telling Dr D to find a mermaid, because marine biologists are the sort of people you would ask to perform such a ridiculous task. Billy presses his ear against the door to learn more about such an idiotic situation. Dr D is hesitant, until the zoo people offer him $1,000,000 to do this. He promptly agrees, since they're losing money. Then Billy falls in because the door wasn't locked. I mean, it's not as if this sort of thing should be top secret. He promises not to tell anyone, however, so everything's fine.

Right, we're only on chapter 7, so let's speed up a bit. Billy decides to go looking for the mermaid himself, cause, you know, $1,000,000, so he gets up early and goes off snorkeling. Don't worry, though, I'm sure William Deep Jr., famous undersea explorer, will complete this task with ease. Actually, no, he gets attacked by a shark almost immediately. So awesome. Luckily, he is saved from the watery grave he probably deserves by this point... by the mermaid. As he tries to communicate with her, they are both picked up by Dr D and Alex. They decide to keep the mermaid in a glass tank, and after Billy feeds his lunch to the mermaid, he goes to bed.

That night, he hears sounds coming from up top and goes to investigate. It turns out some guys are kidnapping the mermaid so they can... actually, I don't know. It's never explained. Also, it turns out Dr D tried to stop them, too, because he's knocked out on the floor. Sheena is also there, and Billy yells for Alexander, who shows up. Billy enjoys a quiet moment of triumph, only for it to be revealed that he's working with the kidnappers, because they're paying him more than what the zoo people offered him. I hope he spends the cash on cooking lessons. They chuck Billy, Sheena and Dr D in the tank that used to hold the mermaid, and toss them overboard. So, wait, what was the mermaid doing all this time? Was she just flopping around on the deck, screaming?

The kidnappers speed off on the Cassandra with the mermaid in tow, and the tank with our heroes (in Billy's case, I'm taking some dramatic license) is close to sinking. Luckily, a team of other mermaids show up (the zoo'd better have it's checkbook ready) and save them. I'm guessing, because they saved him, they have never encountered Billy. The gang get into their dinghy and head off after Alexander How do they know where to go? Because they follow the mermaids. What? I guess the mermaids have some kind of telepathic bond or something, but the book never explains it, explicitly or otherwise.

They catch up with the Cassandra, and the mermaid army free the captured mermaid. However, the kidnappers drop the mixtape and set fire to the dinghy. Billy and Sheena start trying to put out the fire (knowing Billy, he's probably trying to put it out by throwing wood on it), but then one of the men grabs them. Another tries to punch Dr D in the stomach, but misses, so they chuck our heroes (and Billy) back into the dinghy, which is still on fire. Luckily, they put out the dinghy, and they take back the Cassandra.

The next morning, the zoo people come back, and give Dr D a check for $1,000,000... and he promptly tears it up. He tells them that the whole mermaid thing was a load of nonsense, and they take his word for it and leave. Dr D, Sheena and Billy agree never to mention the mermaid again, but because Billy has the brain of a goldfish (pretty fitting, actually), he heads off back to the reef. You know, the place where he *deep breath* almost go eaten by a shark, burnt his foot and was almost eaten by a flipping sea monster! Speaking of which, the sea monster from the beginning shows up and we have no idea what happens next. I hope Billy was eaten, but that can't be the case, seeing as there are 2 sequels.

Anything else?
One Christmas, Billy and Sheena's dad brought Dr D over to their house. Unfortunately, it didn't end well and, long story short, Dr D ended u spending the entirety of Christmas day in the bath.
In the english version (the one I'm reading), the zoo people promise Dr D £1,000,000 instead of $1,000,000. Sounds fine, until you remember that this book is still set in the Carribean. Whoops.

Conclusion
Deep Trouble is not actually that bad. Sure, Billy's an idiot and Sheena's pretty much superfluous, but the plot is incredibly different to most goosebumps book (weird stuff starts happening and/or kids fight monster), and that actually kind of works. However, the villains are pretty bland, and generic. Alexander is the closest to a decent villain in this book. However, this book is halfway decent, so for that, it gets a pass. Although, there was no-one with a ridiculous name. Maybe we'll get some dumb names on Sunday....